Affinity

I have been looking for so long
I am weary from the quest.
where do you find the person
who knows you better
than you know yourself.

how do you know when
you have truly found that person
and know you need not search any longer.

I am so confused,
so misled.
I don't even know who
I am looking for anymore.

could this person be right before me,
or possibly still in the future,
yet hopefully not in my past.
please, Lord, not in my past.

my patience grows thin.
not with those around me,
but with myself.
with the person I should have been.

have I found this wonderful gift
or am I trying to believe that it is so.
my mind, heart, and emotions
all tell me different things,
yet they all speak the same thing.
certainly this ship will wreck
if such blatant mutiny continues.

what do you do
when you search for something
all of your life
and then when you find it,
it is not where you expected it to be.

03.28.2000